CLITORIA: A Sex​-​Positive Superhero! The Soundtrack

by Laura Bailey Music

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1.
Who's that hero with the long red hair? Clitoria! Who's the little lady with the get back stare? Clitoria! Totally shameless in every way She eats boys like you for breakfast every day Who's the curvy kitty cat who wants to play? Clitoria! (Cat solo) Who's that? Watch out! Meow, meow! Love her, hate her, date her She don't care what you think She's the crazy sexy mama Vixen of Kink Will she wanna put it in the pink or the stink? Clitoria! Clitoria!
2.
Marianne: You always pay the bill, my love You know my favourite things A Margherita pizza, love And honey garlic wings You hold me when I'm sad When I need you, you're there But between the sheets you never pull my hair You proofread all my articles And you help me to be great! You're always standing up for me When I'm wrong you set me straight You see the best in me And you push me cuz you care But sometimes I just wish you'd pull my hair Oh when you see me, love In my dressing gown Tell me what do you wanna do Tear my clothing off Put your hands on me And use me 'til you're through Paul: I'm not used to such provocative language! I cuddle you in the wintertime We watch shows I like a lot I don't mind pausing to discuss When you're confused about the plot Marianne: Yes I know you really love me This ain't no cheap affair But I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why you never pull my hair
3.
03:09
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamt of my ring I pictured my wedding day And the joy it would bring A church with a steeple A dress made with lace I saw every detail Except for his face So if he loves me Needs me Even if he can't please me I'm gonna suck it Suck it Suck it up My mamma, she told me Girl, you better get married There's so many tax breaks And being single is scary No one to protect you No one to provide No one wants a cat lady Past thirty-five So if he loves me Needs me Even if he can't please me I'm gonna suck it Suck it Suck it up *Dialogue* Love is patient Love is kind Maybe love doesn't pound you In the behind So if he loves me Needs me Even if he can't please me I'm gonna suck it Suck it Suck it up Yeah, my mamma told me if he loves me Needs me Even if he'll never even tease me... I'm gonna suck it Suck it Suck it up
4.
Clitoria: Touch me You know what I wanna do Baby let me prove to you You'd like it to Show me The things you only think about I want you to say 'em now Right out loud I've been waiting for permission to arrive I was sent here on a mission to fly I've got a hunger and I'm ready to howl at the sky I'm just a Beast of the Night I'm gonna ease your pain I'm just a Beast of the Night Driving you insane I'm just a Beast of the Night And I know that you need a beast in your life Spank me See the pleasure in the pain Hit me like it's all the same And do it again Free me! Everything you got I want it God I want it God I want it bad! I've been waiting for permission to arrive I was sent here to feel alive My claws are sharp and my bark's just as bad as my bite I'm just a Beast of the Night Your sexual cocaine I'm just a Beast of the Night Driving you insane I'm just a Beast of the Night And I know what you need is a beast in your life *Dialogue* I've been waiting for permission to arrive I was sent here with a ticket to ride I've got a taste for the fun, the flesh, and the fight I'm just a Beast of the Night… *Dialogue* Bruce: You've got Such a sweet little kitty She's so fuzzy, soft, and cute, baby And I thought you should know I want To pet your kitty all night, baby Because she purrs like heaven And she likes a Meaty Treat *Dialogue* Bruce & Clitoria: You've got Such a sweet little kitty She's so fuzzy, soft, and cute, baby And I thought you should know I want To pet your kitty all night, baby Because she purrs like heaven And she likes a Meaty Treat You've got Such a sweet little kitty She's so fuzzy, soft, and cute, baby And I thought you should know I want To pet your kitty all night, baby Because she purrs like heaven And she likes a Meaty Treat
5.
*Improvised dialogue*
6.
Some people like girls, some people like boys Some people are quiet, some make a lot of noise Some people are certain, and some are confused Oh, you gotta try some shit out and see what works for you If you don't know if you should Just ask yourself, does it feel real good? Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) It's alright with me Some people like leather, some people like lace (Lace!) Some people might want you to dump on their face (Poo! Poo! Poo!) Some people play doctor, some people play nurse Some people play babies, you gotta give 'em a burp Oh, you can't judge a book by it's cover So don't judge your love by your lover Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) It's alright with me Some people are boys, some people are girls Some people don't fit those little old words Some people like booty, some people like feet Some like it out in the woods, some like it in the back seat Oh, you don't need to be like me Just figure out what you need to be free Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Sing it with me! Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) It's alright with me Oh yeah!
7.
There were clamps on both my nipples A ball gag in my mouth Two women gave me rimmy jobs And I blew a guy on the couch They put me in a blindfold They tied me to a chair And you still won't even pull my hair
8.
Marianne: You ruined my life You really fucked up everything I had going on This is rock bottom This is the worst You ruined my life I can't believe the shit that actually came out of my mouth When I was hot and free When I was her She celebrates my demons She tells the world they can She tells me it's ok, no, important to live Just the way I am You ruined my life All this being myself shit really fucked up my plans Now I have nothing Now I'm alone Paul: She ruined my life What the hell am I supposed to do without her now? I wish I could be her man I wish I had known Marianne & Paul: I know our love's not perfect I know I feel the sting But she/he was the first to make me believe that I could do anything Now she's in my life And she wants me/her to get fucked every which way that I/she wants Nothing to justify No feeling afraid She ruined my life She goes ahead and does the things I wish I could do The things that I sacrificed For the life I made Marianne: You ruined my life You forced me to finally deal with my own shit And I love you even though you ruined my life
9.
Paul: Some people wear pants, some people wear skirts Some people wear a suit and tie every day to work But some people like lingerie and some people like high heel shoes Some of them are ladies, and some of us are dudes! I don't mean to sound surreal But I can't help the way that I feel Anything you want (Anything you want) Marianne: Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) It's alright with me *Voice over* Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) Anything you want (Anything you want) Anything you are (Anything you are) It's alright with me

about

CLITORIA: A Sex-Positive Superhero! is an award-winning original musical written by and starring Laura Bailey. A sexually repressed high school science teacher accidentally turns herself into the Vixen of Kink through a science experiment gone wrong. Havoc ensues as Clitoria’s sexy ways challenge her square life and her square fiancé.

CLITORIA debuted at the 2019 Toronto Fringe Festival to rave reviews, and won the Patron’s Pick Award for highest attendance at the Theatre Passe Muraille main space.

CLITORIA was an official selection of the 2020 Guelph Fringe Festival, which has understandably been postponed until next summer, August 5 to 8, 2021.

This album was recorded from a live performance on July 11, 2019 at the Theatre Passe Muraille Mainspace.

On behalf of the cast and crew, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for supporting this show. All proceeds from the sales of this album will be donated to Black Lives Matter Guelph. We sincerely hope you enjoy the music and the message.

credits

released July 3, 2020

Performed by Laura Bailey, Matthew Bradley, Ursula K. Manifred, and Jada Rifkin.

Book, music, and lyrics by Laura Bailey.

Directed, choreographed, and arranged by Christopher Wilson.

Stage management, costumes, set design, and graphic design by Justine Cargo.

Live mix and sound design by Tim Lindsay.

Live recording by Paul Aihoshi.

Photography by Danielle Reesor.

Album cover by Adam Zimerman.

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Laura Bailey Guelph, Ontario

Laura Bailey is a singer-songwriter and vocal coach based in Guelph, ON. She has recorded and toured internationally with the acclaimed a cappella group Countermeasure. She has shared the stage with Peaches, Holly Cole, Nikki Yanofsky, and the Swingle Singers. Her Stories2Songs project explores interactive songwriting through YouTube, in a way that is minimalist, homemade, and live-off-the-floor. ... more

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